Senior year of college I had the recurring experience of being incredibly frustrated by my mind taking off as if being chased by wild, hungry, people-eating demons with halitosis.

It was terrible. I’d spend the briefest of moments in that soft, luscious state of mind that is somewhere between waking and sleeping.

As soon as my mind realized that waking consciousness was within reach, Yahoo! And off it’d go galloping to all the things I would do today! things to remember! things to think about! Loud. Fast. Out of control.

A few times, it literally brought me close to tears. I had NO control over it. I had no idea what to do about it, had no tools at my disposal to call it in check. I was victimized by it.

I tried pleading, cajoling, negotiating. Nothing worked. Not even a little.

I saw a poster for a meditation course. It was a three part series on campus. Never having tried meditation, I somehow had a sense that it might help with this wild-mind harassing me in the morning. I signed up.

Very little, actually none, of that course remains in memory. What I do recall is meeting an Italian exchange student who had come out of curiosity. Having just been an exchange student in Italy myself, I was way more interested in practicing my italian with him than focusing on what we were there to learn.

Somehow, I made it through the sessions and was invited (as was the Italian) to attend their meditation group off campus. Along with a few others, I accepted. Within a couple of weeks, they informed us that our guru (we faced an image of said guru in meditation) would be in San Francisco and we were allowed to attend.

Adventure to SF! Fun! Italian guy and I decided to make the drive from Santa Barbara together along with another, very quiet guy, who had apparently been in the campus class too.

I think we all signed up to go more for the fun of an out-of-town field trip to San Francisco than any real desire to deepen our novice meditation practice.

Truthfully, the whole guru thing didn’t make sense to me. Kinda freaked me out, actually. Why were we watching videos of the guy running? And why was everyone all goo-goo over him? Seemed kind of ego-centric to me.

Our little trio decided it wasn’t our thing and spent more time playing in the big city.

We had a great time taking picture down the famous Lombard Street, finding good places to eat, exploring Fisherman’s Wharf.

It was a memorable trip for many reasons. The main one being that it was the beginning of a romance with the quiet guy (not the Italian).

I forgot about the whole reason I thought learning to meditate would be helpful in the first place. Not that I didn’t keep waking up with my mind taking off as if a runner after the starting gun. But when you’re in love, it just doesn’t matter.

That was 20 years ago. Being more interested in the feelings stirred up by boyfriend (didn’t take long… ) than my wild-mind, I lost interest in the meditation attempts. It was hard to sit. The benefits felt non-existent.

I’ve caught myself lamenting the lack of perseverance of my 20 year old self. What a flake. I had the hit that meditation would be good for me and I basically ignored it. Fine if the guru thing wasn’t for me, but I certainly didn’t try very hard to discover another way.

If I could count that as Year 1, how different my life would have played out! I probably wouldn’t have experienced so much angst during my 20s, gotten into such a crazy predicament in my early 30s and so on.

It took another 15 or so years for me to heed the call again. At this point, the timing was right, the motivation stuck, and it’s continually getting easier to sit.

I have a few inspirational books from the Buddhist tradition and I’m considering a meditation retreat. I still don’t belong to any particular tradition or follow any particular teacher, although I’m thinking I might be ready to head in that direction.

Why do I share this with you? If I were trying to get you to give meditation a shot, I should’ve focused on the benefits of a practice, right?

What I’d love for you to get from this post is the reminder of the importance of self-compassion and acceptance.

It’s easy to look back with 20/20 vision and be hard on yourself for not taking a certain course of action. Sure you think you know now how it would’ve turned out, but that ain’t the way life happened—and you know what? That’s fine. More than fine. It’s excellent.

Sure I’d have been a different person with 20 years meditation under my belt, just as I’ll be a different person in another 20 years and another 20 years after that.

Acceptance and compassion will result in infinitely more peace of mind than regret. Regret focuses on what you lack while acceptance invites the experience of wholeness.

“A person experiences life as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. Our task must be to free ourselves from this self-imposed prison, and through compassion, to find the reality of Oneness.” —Albert Einstein

And who’s going to dispute Al’s words?

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Image credits: Shawn

I’ve been exchanging email with someone who has a great relationship, has much to be grateful for and generally recognizes that he has a good life.

Except.

Ah, the pesky “except” clause. A good life except that (he wrote) “It’s a struggle, and I don’t feel I’m in my right place.  Is it the way I’m thinking? or what I’m doing? I get depleted far too quickly, and find the moments of joy too far apart.  Do I keep my head down and just get through this?”

And then:
“I have decided to push ahead on a business venture that has caused me much anxiety.  Am trying to push beyond the fear, there is much value in the product and potentially could make some money.”

Hung out in a crammed VW Beetle lately?

With three people sitting on another’s lap (one in the front passenger seat, and one on either side of the back seat) you could cram eight (yes, 8!) people into a VW Beetle.

Would it be comfortable? No. Would the car protest? Yes—you’d better hope that wherever you were going was mostly downhill.

This is how full most people’s minds are from the moment they hit waking consciousness ’til their head hits the pillow some 16 hours later: packed to the brim and churning to keep up.

Besides the issue of exhaustion, the problem with this—and how it directly affects your working experience—is that your intuition has no room to help you out.

Are you one of those people who think their inner wisdom doesn’t talk to them? If so, let me tell you about our childhood cat, Kästle (pronounced Kest-ly, named after the ski brand).

Taming the pretty kitty. Or not.

Kästle, who had been a skittish cat from kitten-hood, was an indoor cat until I was born. A few sounds from this bundle o’ screaming joy and she was outta there. She didn’t leave completely, probably because my mom put food on the front porch for her every day.

As a kid, I’d see her on the porch and would open the door to pet her but she’d take off like I was a cat-eating monster with flames shooting from my nostrils.

When I was in about 4th grade, I attempted to be something of a cat-whisperer. I’d sit on the front porch, call in as friendly a voice as possible, “Here, kitty kitty. Here Kästle.” Then I’d wait.

And I’d call her again. And I’d wait. Call again. Wait. Finally, she’d step through the bushes, on to the porch, and sit. I’d keep coaxing her on. Eventually, she’d walk the distance of the porch to where I sat.

She’d walk around me and push against my back, then she’d rub up against my leg, then she’d encourage my fingers under her chin. For that moment, I was her best friend.

A week or two later I’d go out and call her. We’d go through the whole routine again. She wouldn’t cut me any slack. My interest in this game soon wore off and I wouldn’t try again for another six months.

She stayed skittish and shy for the rest of her life, an outdoor cat who showed up just enough to let us know that she was still around.

Do you think that if I went out on the porch every afternoon and showed her that I was dedicated to earning her trust, that she’d have come to me more quickly? More bravely? More trustingly? I’m sure of it.

That, my friend, is 1) a true story and 2) exactly the game you play with your intuition.

Your mind demands that your intuition show up and perform, or screw it—who has time to mess around teasing it down the porch? It’s unproven and unclear. Why bother?

Unless you start courting your kitty, you’re only going to get more people cramming into your VW and you will struggle needlessly.

The voice worth listening to.

When your intuition has space to breathe, you hear what to do differently: what client to let go of, what project to take in a different direction, what shifts to make in your business model.

Your priorities stay clear, distractions dissolve, and you find yourself spontaneously running into that person you needed to talk to. Think of a time when you’ve totally been in the flow. Groovy, eh? How about that but all the time.

Got it?
Doing doing doing.
Pushing pushing pushing.
Trying trying trying.
Over.

Easier said than done, eh?

Unless you grew up with parents who had a meditation practice of some sort, you likely haven’t been encouraged to include a regular quiet practice into your day.

If you do have a meditation practice, are you applying what you learn in your business?

What does this mean in real life with my business??

Everyday we are faced with decisions—everything from what’s the best way to reach my target audience? to what should I work on right now?

Wise, intuitive decisions enjoy a well-informed, calm mind.

Anxiety is like a jackhammer on the front porch. “HERE KITTY, KITTY!” I don’t think so.

Generally what’s going on is that your head starts spinning out of control, freaks out, and then your body reacts by shutting down healthy/sane hormone production and kicks into creating cortisol, the stress hormone, and thus crises-management mode.

Keeping your mind steady both prevents spin out and allows you to court your intuition in a relatively calm space.

Here are seven ways to keep your mind in control during your workday:

• Use your systems: ToDo manager, project list, timelines or project calendar. Focus is an antidote to spazzing out, so minimize the random stuff floating around your head
• Use timer to cap activities, create structure and respect it.
• Separate planning time activities from doing stuff/zapping email/phone calls etc.
• Morning planning session, first thing. Get your head focused on the right track.
  Reconnect with big picture of your project.
• Clarify what the next step is, even if the next step is a question to answer.
• Do meditation/daily quiet time
• Acknowledge and accept that the current stage is exactly where you should be.
• Do hard aerobic exercise to clear out the stress-producing cortisol storing up in your body.

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Photo credits: Cat by Furryscaly

I just picked up mail at my PO box. In it was a scintillating flyer with kid-style writing and goofy clip art enticing me to attend a course that will be coming to an area near me this year. Joy!

Unfortunately for them, the mailer did not have the intended affect of inspiring me to sign up. Even with the “Express Enrollment!” option.

The strategy of sending out ads to anything half-alive to produce a minuscule return is completely irritating to unwitting recipients.

In case you were wondering, here are three tips to get on my snarky side:

1. Send me stuff that’s irrelevant to what I do and that I didn’t sign up for.
2. Send me mail addressed to a business name from a decade ago that is 1) defunct and 2) brings up uncomfortable memories.
3. Put the burden on me to get off a list I never signed up for.

Spam is spoiled. It’s rotten.

We’re in a time of reworking business and marketing models. The spam approach, a.k.a. the I’m-not-going-to-bother-figuring-out-who-my-people-are-and-how-to-reach-them approach, is done. If I have my way in the universe, it will be extinct in the very near future.

What’s replacing it? Content marketing. In a nutshell:

• I put something out there.
• You come across it and check it out.
• If it resonates with you, you ask for more (for ex. sign up for updates).
• If not, you go your merry way and I never send you anything.

If you want to learn about it for your own business, check out Copyblogger‘s Content Marketing 101:
How to Build Your Business With Content.

Gazing in the mirror of self-reflection

Why do I get so riled up about this stuff?

As a human being, my intention is to help people.

I don’t want to be a burden, and I don’t want to be in someone’s face if they don’t want me there. In other words, permission is important to me.

Meaningful connections with people, from close relationships all the way through to simple writer/reader relationships, are important to me.

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Photo credit: Pleasing the Junk Mailer by mikecogh

Since Hollywood doesn’t give us natural professional main characters, here’s my idea for a storyline.

Catch the exciting story of the young, naive, newbie Zen practitioner who, despite all of his good intentions just keeps making more of a mess…

No promises, but this may be an ongoing rant on the popular term: “life balance”. The first was on the Project Simplify channel.

(If the video is really jerky here, you might want to try it directly on Youtube.)
 

As a natural professional, I don’t like to admit that my wrists are sore from too much computer keyboarding, that I’m hardly doing any yoga, and cooking is a once a week endeavor (if that). Walks or biking, fuhgettaboutit.

Granted that when you go through a big push, like launching a new website, this is acceptable behavior. And maybe a week after the launch to tie up loose ends. And maybe a week after that…

Doh! that was a trick. Were you ready to go along? Waiting to see how compelling the argument was going to be?

The frightening power of the mundane…

I had coffee on Friday with a friend who told me about some physical back issues she’s been dealing with over the last couple of months.

I asked her if she was doing some kind of yoga or low-impact stretching and back strengthening class of some sort.

“When?! I work all day then get home and have to take the dog for a walk, make dinner, and there are certainly going to be emails from the org that I’m president of and I can’t respond to those during the day…” and so on.

Whoa, Nelly!!

Taking care of your canine friend is important, but your long term back health and mobility is critical!

Here’s the thing. We can:

• ALWAYS come up with excuses to not do the Good Work
• ALWAYS come up with excuses to do the busy-ness activities that never end

Whether it’s your health, your art, or anything else that makes your life hum more sweetly, it’s up to you to set boundaries, rearrange your schedule, or recalibrate your thought process to make it happen.

Q: What Good Work aren’t you doing?
Q: What busy-ness is filling up your time?

And most importantly,
Q: What are you going to do about it?

I drafted up this post on Friday, four days ago. It inspired me to get out and enjoy a gorgeous weekend complete with bike ride and hike at the river. =)

Want accountability or support? Share what you’re going to do below in the comments.

The woman’s voice on the other end of the phone was chilly, no, it was downright frigid:

“I don’t know why you called.”

It’s a tone of voice Kay never thought she’d hear from a client. Especially one she delivered on time and under budget for.

“What do you want?” the woman asks.

Kay paused then suggested, “I want to clear the air between us.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You did more than I asked for.”

Kay, a landscape architect, didn’t want to argue with the woman but that just wasn’t true. They had discussed the level of detail for a deck plan and she’d told the woman that the drawings would take as much as 10 hours.

The conversation ended as it began. No resolution.

Kay had upheld her end of the client-consultant deal, yet she lay awake that night, mind churning, “What could I have done differently? Where was I at fault?”

She felt totally and completely crappy. She wanted to throw in the towel.

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If you work with clients and have a certain amount of sensitivity, I’d be willing to bet that you, too, have had at least one bewildering episode. The kind that triggered such self-doubt that your very existence as a business owner was called into serious question.

What happened?

A potential client invited Kay out to her place. They spent a considerable amount of time walking the site while the woman explained all kinds of ideas she had for this spot and that.

It became clear to Kay from listening that the woman had more ideas than dollars so she moved the conversation toward high priority, bite-sized next steps.

They zeroed in on the deck design, which the woman said was actually highest on the priority list. “I have someone who can do the work for me, he just doesn’t know what to do.”

Kay told her she could draw up plans for her. She is a landscape architect, after all. “Great!” the woman said.

Kay estimated around 10 hours for the job.

The woman said, “Just invoice me.”

And Kay, sensitive to the woman’s budget did, completing the drawings in half that time and billing accordingly.

The was a note with the payment that indicated the woman was unhappy. Wanting to clear the air, Kay called her. You’ve already read what happened in that call.

How could this have been prevented?

1. Give folks an opportunity to self-select themselves out
   This is really about clarity. When you know what you’re about and can articulate that, you’re as much as saying to the world: here’s my avenue and I’m not interested in playing in the gutter.

   Two practical ways you convey this is through a succinct Services page and “How My Services Work” piece. A curious person will be less likely to ask you out to wander their property when they see that your services begin with conceptual drawings and go all the way through construction plans and management.

   Make these pages on your website, turn them into ready-to-send emails, use them as talking points when someone calls to inquire about your services.

2. Sign a contract with every client, even for the small jobs.
   For most people, it takes getting burned to learn this one.

   Depending on your field of work, this doesn’t have to be a long, cumbersome document filled with confusing legalese. To the contrary, the point is to make sure you are on the same page.

   All kinds of neuro-science studies have shown just how much of what we hear is dependent on our own experience. The chances that two people will recall the same details from a conversation a month or six months ago is pretty near impossible.

3. Learn signs of your ideal/non-ideal clients

   Some people are addicted, not just love but addicted, to circling around in La-La Idea Land. They love talking about their ideas and visualizing grandiose plans. They do not like to commit to just one idea. These are not your ideal clients, unless creating mind maps for your clients is your business.

   The trouble is that if a La-La Idea Land person agrees to something in the heat of the moment and then wakes up to find they are out of their comfort zone, don’t be surprised if they lash out. And guess who’s in their line of fire?

Can you discern these folks?

Some signs that I’ve identified:

1. bubbling positivity, i.e. they haven’t felt the pain of indecision thus have no desire to change
2. they change the subject when you try to narrow in on one idea
3. they’ve worked with several different people already and are sure this time it will be different (if those others were qualified, then it’s probably not about you, it’s about them)

Doing business is about so much more than the craft you excel at, but you knew that. You are also marketer, copy writer and billing department. Now add psychologist to the list.

And if it does happen?

You know how your head does a brilliant job of blowing things out of proportion, especially as you’re laying in bed staring into the darkness? This can color your mood and nag your thoughts for days.

1. Process
Denial is no good. That’ll just bite you in the butt later on.

On the same day as The Situation, Process. Your psyche needs understanding and completion. Be compassionate with yourself and acknowledge your role in the situation.

However you get back into your Truth, do it. Journal about it. Discuss it with someone whose objective perspective you trust. Whatever your way is.

2. Bounce back
Acknowledge your feelings, find the lessons, and then bounce back. Soon, like the next day.

Pull your focal point away from The Painful, Awkward, Terrible Situation and get your attention back on helping your clients, being your best, and the bigger picture of why you are doing the work you are doing.

Is there any follow up action with the client? Do it ASAP.
Any preventative measures for the future? Put them in place.
Catching yourself replaying the situation? Stop.

You might feel like it but you won’t die.

Thank gawd a silver lining is to be found in these ridiculously awkward moments. Even if you end up on hands and knees, head hanging low, scratches on palms, and feeling totally defeated, you are resilient.

You will lift up enough to set one foot solidly on the ground, then the other, you’ll straighten your legs, brush yourself off and go forth a little taller for having survived.

And the future? With eyes open and another notch in your lipstick case, you’ll sidestep the murky puddles with grace and ease.

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Photo credits:
Fire! by Xenith.org

Momentous occasion!!

The new and improved Natural Professional website is up and you’re looking at it!

I am soooo happy. And for more reasons than it 1) looks Super Duper, and 2) makes me smile ear to ear.

Namely, investing in this site represents my recent 100% commitment to the Natural Professional (NP), which is no small thing, I assure you.

Looking to the Project Simplify archives, the first article about the NP was back in July 2008. Three and a half years ago??!?!

Wow, it’s taken that long to fully embrace this concept? Considering that I’ve known this is my destiny, that almost hurts… but hey, timing is what it is and who am I to question the mysterious ways of the Universe?

Let’s just get back to partying with excessive exclamation points and effusive gratitude, eh? =)

A big shout out of Thank You!! to Lisa Wood of Sprout New Media for the fresh design and amazingly speedy turn-around. This woman knows how to make it happen.

In addition to the About page for what this site is all about, check out Continuing the Journey for the big vision leading the charge.

I hope you love the new site and infusion of energy into the Natural Professional. We are going to be making serious waves in unexpected ways!

XO

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Photo credit:
Fireworks – 5th November 2011 by Dark Dwarf

(originally posted on the Project Simplify site)

Are you ready for an entrepreneurial revolution that’s fueled by you expressing your beautifully authentic self?

No more playing small. No more Should Gremlins cramping your style. No more waiting for your time to come–it’s here.

In other words…

Are you ready for the era of the Natural Professional?

If you want to:

• realize crazy amazing success in more dimensions than you ever thought possible,
• streamline your efforts to kick butt in the world and stay in a delicious space, and
• be a part of creating a new work ethic

…then you’ll be ready for the big change that’s coming up.

Big, BIG NEWS

New year, new direction: I’m closing the chapter that has been Project Simplify and will be devoting my efforts to developing the Natural Professional.

This may come as a big surprise, but it makes perfect sense. Check it out:

For a few years now, I’ve been flirting with the Natural Professional concept. In my heart, I’ve known that bringing it to the world is where my destiny’s been leading. The question that eluded me was how.

With Project Simplify, we’ve been focusing on simplifying as a means to focus on what’s important to you. This has been good, and it’s time to go great!

Based on the premise that “the era of struggle is over,” the Natural Professional takes simplifying to a whole new plane by asserting that not only can you make your work flow smoothly and easily, you are a vital player in the entrepreneurial revolution. 

I know I’m almost sounding political here, but we’re not talking about occupying Wall Street, we’re talking about ”occupying” your right to create a happy existence based on sane, healthful priorities.

Supporting you and your business for this means cultivating tools to:

• make confident, solid decisions quickly;
• be productive with constantly shifting priorities;
• be a positive change agent, sustainably;
• navigate stormy times with ease; and
• uncover and share more of your gifts through business.

Here is the Natural Professional mini-manifesto…

We, the Natural Professionals, are bringing human values back into the equation of our success. Work is easier because we are flowing rather than pushing and we act in line with our values. 

We have greater economy of effort because we use intuition for guidance. We gain greater satisfaction because we’re making decisions based on respect for the whole.

How are we going to do this?

Being in this unprecedented time in history, we are in the perfect position to create a new way of working. 

We’ve rejected corporate values in favor of an entrepreneurial lifestyle, now it’s time to reject the habits and stress that seemed inherent in the corporate world.

The Natural Professional as a business is dedicated to supporting you in developing a personal navigation system that, no matter what situation you find yourself in:

• supports you in sharing your True Genius with the world,
• recognizes and short-circuits self-sabotage, and
• helps you confidently make the best decisions for your long-term health and success.

You’ll get access to the three-part Natural Professional Program:

• Mastering Your 21st Century Workflow organizational system in step-by-step video format for *free*.
• Cultivating Your Flame ’shops and e-courses to reconnect and solidify your purpose and passion.
• Bathing in Bliss ’shops and e-courses to realize and revel in your full potential.

If you’ve dug Project Simplify, you’ll love the new direction of the Natural Professional.

We will change history, my friend.

Declare your intention to boogie down on the Natural Professional journey by signing up for the Natural Professional’s New Way Of Working (New WOW) updates in the sidebar above.

Then grab your groovy garb and get ready to roll!

XO

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Photo credit:
country roads by aphotoshooter (busy..)

Have you ever taken on a project that was so big and that involved so many new factors that you just didn’t know which way was up? You knew that you were capable of each step—if you only knew what those steps were?!

That’d be me taking The Natural Professional Program online.

Sounds straightforward enough. I know the content, the workbook is done, I just need to record some video and voila! course ready for online sales in two months, right?

Did I mention that I’ve never produced video before?

Let me tell you about a reputation I’ve earned in my family. It comes from scenarios like this: Someone would say that we don’t have anything in the house for dinner. I’d open up the fridge, pull out a bunch of stuff and make a meal that pleased everyone’s taste buds.

Somehow this has turned into a family legend worthy of bragging rights. I’ve overheard my folks proudly tell their friends, not to mention complete strangers: “Our daughter can cook a 5-course meal out of nothing!”

Apparently I’ve a gift for pulling seemingly disparate ingredients together without guidance of recipe or cookbook. And yet, Superhero abilities ablaze, here I was stymied by this video project.

To make my ambitious timeline even more ridiculous, all of my skills of organizing, planning and list making were falling flat.

I’d pull out a calendar, schedule some milestones and then realize a week later that the milestones were all wrong.

I’d start making lists of things to do then realize I still didn’t know what the next steps were.

After numerous false starts it finally dawned on me that my attempts to organize were premature because my fridge was empty. How could I plan when I didn’t know what I was working with?

What was needed was the inspiration of fresh ingredients and mysterious condiments to bring this video project alive in a magical way.

Sometimes, without a plan, without knowing how it’s going to turn out, without knowing what you’re going to need tomorrow, you just have to start stocking the fridge.

If you like veggies, get your favorites. Herbs? Get the ones you like the most. Cheese? Mmmm, you know which elicit a growl in your stomach.

Then when you pull open the fridge door and look inside, those yummy ingredients will practically jump out and combine themselves.

By reigning in the drive to organize, the creative juices were able to flow.

This idea blended with that idea. This content flowed into a side dish, that one into a main dish. Fun little elements popped up as garnish.

Slowly the vision unfolded, one ingredient at a time. Look out, world! Here comes a delicious feast.